Except this one thing.
Last night i went to a gay, gay, fabulous eurovision party (kudos john and kenny), and amidst the clicks and spillages, my roots as an olde school eurovision fan came out. I used to love it! circa 1991 to 1996 - i was obsessed. i even had them all on video tape and regularly rewatched them all. I could even sing along in languages i couldn't speak!
I woke up this morning with several shades of hangover and a plan. I am going to enter the eurovision. I am going to give the cheeseyist performance of a life time. How you might ask.. How will you gauge this?
Cheese o meter? - no too non specific
A jury of your piers? - wheres the science in that?
Complex mathematical equations? - phsaawww!
The answer: ticking as many boxes as possible from the eurovision drinking game. yes.
Here is a run down of all the ones i intend to hit
- Wink at camera
- Drop to their knees
- Make a peace sign
- Sing in language other than English or native tongue (ie. Ukrainian sings Hasta La Vista)
- Flick their hair
- Mime heavy guitar solo
- Play an 'ethnic' instrument
- Play piano while standing
- 'Ethnic' dancing
- Pretend to fight
- Helicopter shots
- Any costume change
- Any key change
And two that weren't on the linked list
- White suits
- Pyrotechnics
Can you imagine? Eurovision partys all over Europe, HAMMERED! really really HAMMERED!
I don't believe i can do it alone though. I need a task force.. a haus of Gaga of sorts... experts in performance, costume, songwritting, European cultural policy advisers, people who can make pie charts and graphs showing our popularity, bartenders....
Winning doesn't even matter, This is the stuff of DREAMS!!
WHO'S WITH ME!!!!??
A. x
4 comments:
Don't forget the wind machine! It's not Eurovision if your hair and frock aren't billowing out behind you for AT LEAST the second half of your song. Also, I'll gladly take care of the pie charts!
thanks Miss Cat! Youre right, how could i have over looked the wind machine! Your offer is accepted on the pie chart buisness :)
Bagsie pyrotechnics! My previous experience in this field stems from Halloween '94-97 when I was supplied by the creepy guy that working in a shop on the Mall. I promise faithfully to do my upmost to ensure that the stage shall be destroyed for all following acts thereby increasing your chances of winning at a rate proportional to your position in singing order (Kitty can hopefully supply a line graph demonstrating this; I don't think a pie chart will work in this instance)
Good thinking Bear! and it's not like berlin hasnt seen a few explosions before!
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